Homework for the Overactive Brain

Today's Quote--"Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me..."

Sunday, January 18, 2004

 

To Anonymous from Benedict Arnold

There is much to say to your letter of concern. I will not attempt to put down your ideas and feelings, they are all true and valid. I will not attempt to put down your way of airing them, it is hard to find ears that will listen, eyes that will read. And though I do not know who you are, I feel I must reply to you.

Soka is young. Everyday presents us with challenges, every year with extreme growth. As we grow, it is inevitable that we feel growing pains. This is the time of year when things hurt most, when the freshmen begin to understand that this 'utopia' is not, the upper-classmen find new challenges that confront us. For the past two years we have had intense situations that have made us shed tears, have made our blood boil, have made it seem as though the very walls of the school would crumble from it. But yet, we have over-come them all. Yes, we have been dis-illusioned, we have maybe felt as though in reality, we don't have, can't do, what was so prettily promised to us in colored brochures. These growing pains have ripped us in two and brought us together again. I had hoped that these pains would begin to fade as our campus began to grow to it's full size, but you have just provided the catalyst for another growth spurt. It is good. As I said, your ideas and feelings are definitely worth airing.

I too have been appalled from time to time by the sheer fakeness of our campus. How can everyone be 'happy'? It's ridiculous, yes, but I know that sometimes, it is actually the way people feel. Our campus contains many, many cultures, many ways of life, and often times we are only trying to keep the peace, trying not to step on other people's toes or offend others. But yet it still happens. We are all fallible human beings. Perhaps you don't see the acceptance of people as 'friends', even if they are mere acquaintances, as a good thing, but I do. I may not like all the people here, and there are some who just rub me the wrong way, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't say hello to them, that I shouldn't make pleasant conversation with them. As you said, we live in an extremely tiny community. And we must live here, all of us, together. In this way, it is necessary to be kind to one another. It isn't possible to always avoid those you dislike, and it certainly would be awkward to try and avoid them. You may not want to spend all of your time being nice to people you dislike, but saying hello and giving them a smile as you pass does nothing to harm you, and only can be kindness to the other person. Does this mean we're all fake? Somewhat, yes, but hopefully we find people with whom we can be totally ourselves.

You say that you have only found yourself surrounded by acquaintances, leaving you feeling alone. Yeah, that's painful. But you can go to anyone of those acquaintances and make the effort. And they should feel the same way. There is a certain level of harmony that we have to keep on campus to keep it from turning into a hell for everyone. We have to be thoughtful of others, all the time, and have to make the efforts to make ourselves happy as well. On top of studying, this can sometimes seem like an incredible burden, hence your feelings of alienation.

We live in a fishbowl. Yeah, it's frustrating when people know your business, even if you think they should keep their noses to themselves. Well, often times, on our small campus, you find out things without necessarily wanting to know them. You see things and make assumptions, or get curious and ask questions. The truth is that we all know entirely too much about each other, while at the same time know way too little to appreciate each other. Is this what you were trying to say? It is what I felt when I read your letter. But the truth is that this world is petty. When we find ourselves out there in the 'real world' we will still be in a fishbowl, with people who stick their noses where they aren't welcome. The question is, are we going to learn how to deal with it here, where for the most part there's a friendly, positive atmosphere, or are we going to wait until we're out there with people who don't give a damn about each other?

Soka is my family. And just like a family, we have our problems. We live too close together, and so have to work to balance our true feelings with societal niceties, and have to deal with the knowledge of other's business, as well as everyone else knowing ours. It is my hope that this growing pain will change our lives for the better. All that is necessary is to think...about our own actions, about others, and about our goals while in this university. Yep, it's going to be some work, but then, if it wasn't, would it be worth it?

GL 8:12 PM