Homework for the Overactive Brain

Today's Quote--"Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me..."

Thursday, January 16, 2003

 

Today's Quote--"The only man who can change his mind is the man who's got one."--Edward Noyes Westcott
Or woman. Woman especially. Changing one's mind is the essence of womanhood, or so I hear...;-)
Working on the having a mind part.

Feeling better today, still sleepy, but not exhausted. That first rush of homework was awful, I felt like the planets were about to collide or something. I finished the first book of the series I'm reading a day or two ago. I'm having a hard time stopping myself from reading it all the time. Especially with most of the readings I've got to do otherwise. SOCCO starts up Sat. sorry random thought. Anyway, presentation today went well, now have to prepare for debate tomorrow.

I'm so happy I've had a chance to talk with M, no, not any time recently, but in general. Felt that old nagging anger today in class, but instead of doing something stupid, I calmed myself and thought it down. In a test of wills with my anger, I usually win, but occasionally it gets the best of me. Not today though! A victory. Everyday is a victory, a victory I'm here, a victory I got out of bed, a victory over my desire to read Jordan, a victory to get to class, a victory to take only what I'll eat at the cafeteria, a victory over my dependent nature.

Remember, I am a good person, and I am a strong person. I have achieved so much, I have so much, I am reaching for so much. My self-esteem occasionally needs that boost. I forget sometimes that I've got all this inside of me and I go searching outside to find something to fill what appears to be a void. Most of the time I know better, but occasionally I need something from out there. That's not what Buddhism teaches, but it is a matter of my inner-revolution, my Human Revolution, to change that aspect, to challenge it, to pull it out into the sunlight and watch it shrivel away into nothing. This life is hard, life is difficult, but that is why I'm here. To challenge this. To change it. And by doing so, help others see, challenge, change. I may have lived a charmed life, I may still be there, but that does not preclude me from changing the world, from changing my home, from changing me. Listen up universe, This is a year of victory, and by the end of it, I'm going to have something to show to you, something big and moving. I don't know what yet, but it will be there. I know this.

GL 5:45 PM