Homework for the Overactive Brain

Today's Quote--"Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me..."

Monday, October 21, 2002

 

Today's quote--"Stress (stres') n. That confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately needs it."--Anon.
Still have a ton to do...it's amazing...all this work for SOCCO is making me want to do homework...is that sad or good? I can't tell. Here's a ponderment for you, why do we (meaning me's) need relationships with I's, so that sometimes it's all we can think about, but then, when we get what we want, all we can do is worry about it? *shrug* This is something I'm likely to ponder forever!

I'm happy DJ's coming...only a few days! I guess I worry because I'm so far away, because he might find someone prettier, freer, closer, my own personal insecurities coming out, really. I just want to keep him in my life, somehow. *sigh* But it doesn't matter at this moment, because we're still together...*L* We've been going out for almost 4 months now, but we've only spent about a month and a half together! Another ponderment, if you're not together, should you count those months towards how long your relationship's been going on? Sure, why not. *L* Another funniness, The week after I get back from Scotland, DJ goes to England for 4 months...he won't be back until the end of June, and I might be leaving to go to Japan in July (gosh I hope not!). We'll get about a week or two together! With the 3 weeks of winter vacation, and this coming weekend, it'll be about 2 and a half months of being physically together for a year of going out...*L* now that's funny. We've spent all this time together all through HS, and now we can't even manage to be on the same CONTINENT for more than a month! Oy. Talk about being hard on a relationship! Well, if either of us was wondering if we could manage a long distance relationship, if we can get through our first year, it'll be proof that we can. LOL *sigh* I just don't know about the universe sometimes...sometimes it seems extremely ironic. And cruel. Oh well. I've just got to challenge myself, right?

At least I like my body...if I had to deal with that insecurity as well I'd probably go a little crazy... Anyway. I hope Mom's package comes today. I hope today isn't so blisteringly boring that I fall asleep in Peace studies. I hope I can get my book report done by tomorrow. I hope my paper proposal isn't too sucky. All kinds of hopes...now to the action part. The hard part..."Part 1: The Journey". Thanks Vicky. Somedays, I miss her a lot. I miss the friendship we had, that I can't get back. I wish she could see her way into college or into her own life. She's still in HS. It's hard to be friends with someone who's older than you who still acts like our senior year. It's sad to watch another human being give up their dreams/goals and flounder. Even worse when that person was your best friend. Even worse when there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.*sigh*

It's hard to believe that I'm 19. I've been in college for over a year, I'm a sophomore. I'm going to Scotland for spring break. I've got a boyfriend whom I absolutely adore, and have adored for years, and he's coming to visit me. I'm going to live on my own in Japan for 4-6 months. I've held a steady job for over a year. Talk about feeling grown up...but it feels so strange because inside I still feel like I just graduated HS last week. Time flies so quickly, especially when you want to enjoy the moment. This is the golden time of my life, but it's going by so fast that it's just a golden blur. I wonder what the future holds in store for me?

GL 10:41 AM