Homework for the Overactive Brain

Today's Quote--"Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me..."

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

 

Today's Quote--"Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood."--Freeman Teague, Jr.
And that exemplifies the continuing stupidity (Oops) I mean issue around here. And I'm not thinking about it anymore. I have better things to do. Like study. Work. Music. Reading. Crocehting. Sleeping. Lots of stuff. :)

Righto, well, other than that...it's RAINING!!! So happy, I've missed weather. Today, I pulled out my boots, my long-john shirt, and my trenchcoat. I feel like it's a nice spring day at home. Home...missing that again...as always. Got a new bell for G. That's nice, now I have a bell and I set up my alter...almost like being at home.

Standing in the rain...the wind whipping my hair around...I can almost pretend that I'm home, it's a March day, and I'm standing outside Rogers, waiting. I don't know what the waiting is for, possibly my eyes to open and remember I'm still in Southern California, not home. But I can stand there, still, listening, feeling, being at peace for a moment in the rain. The sun can do that occasionally, but rain, good real rain, can always put me in that space. It's comfortable, I like it. A sense of reality, of being, of being a human being in a world of nature, in this world.

Laugh if you want, but it's like getting back to that space where we were when there were no nations, no atomic bombs, no food shortages that kill off millions, no global warming, no racism, none of this that we take for granted, that we cannot put away, that we made for ourselves. I know that space isn't real, and when it was real, it was nothing like anything I can imagine. It was hard, it was bare, it was pure, but deadly. I know, but that doesn't change my desire to enjoy that pure essence of human every chance I get. None of these constructions we've made. I'm not like T. who likes to pretend that if he says he doesn't believe in them they'll go away. I know they're there, but if I close my eyes in the rain, even in the sun, and just listen to the wind, the birds, the earth, listen to my own heartbeat and breath for a moment, I remember that underneath every construction lies a human being, just like me, and I feel comforted, alone, but not, in this animal, but not, world.

Ever wonder what it's like to be a tree? I have. I talk with them, say hello, ask after their health. If I were a tree, I would want someone to come around and say hello, ask after my health. Maybe I'm just crazy, but sometimes, it's like they say hello back, in their own silent way. And that, that tells me that we too often underestimate our separation from nature. CORE II may be getting to me. That's been my one major discovery, that humans like to think they are separate from nature, that they have to go out INTO nature to repleanish themselves. Bullpoopy. I am nature. Where I stand, nature is. Whereever I go, nature is there. Of course there are areas that have different kinds of nature, but a city full of people, pets, and houseplants is just as much a member of nature's union as any rainforest. Which is better? Well, that's qualitative and I only deal in the quantitative of this world. I think. Quality is what individuals see. So, go out there, and see. :) Hug a tree.

GL 5:48 PM